Amelia Grant

Women are raised with the idea that the value of their existence is measured by the family they create and the children they raise. That is how things were in the past, but now the times have changed. Women have the right to vote, to work, to have their own money and real estate. But do their lives really belong to them now?

Giving life to a human being is portrayed in society as the biggest happiness in the world. It’s not a lie but it’s a generalizing half-truth. Being a mother isn’t only about cuddling and bonding with your child. It’s about sleepless nights, tantrums, dirt all over the house, chronic fatigue and a different body. Nothing new, right? But perhaps one of the most difficult things about it is a lack of understanding and moral support.

What They Will Never Tell You

Your husband doesn’t understand what have you been doing all day at home with the baby (when you didn’t even have time to brush your teeth). Social media demands for you to bounce back to your pre-motherhood shape in the shortest terms possible. Mom communities shame you for every choice you make in parenting. No one warns you about that.

Motherhood is not only happiness but not only a struggle too. It’s a complicated thing that involves so many different emotions - from love to hate, from inspiration to exhaustion, from motivation to complete emotional breakdown. There are important things to know about it which every woman should understand to avoid being stressed out by it.

It's normal to sometimes feel unhappy with your motherhood 

Motherhood is difficult, and you don’t have to be always happy and consent with it. There can be really hard days when you can’t hold yourself together. It’s normal - you’re just a human being who is trying hard enough. Negative emotions shouldn’t be rejected or become a matter of self-shaming - allow yourself to feel them because that’s how you process them and recover to something more positive.

Your “mom body” is worth love and respect

Yes, motherhood does change our bodies. Some bounce back, some don’t. Yet all mothers deserve love and respect for an amazing thing they did - bringing a new life into this world. Forget what self-conscious trolls and insecure people say, you’re beautiful. Dare to love and accept your “mom body”. Take care of it, eat healthy food, enjoy physical activity, but don’t force yourself to do what you hate and don’t punish it with a strict diet. Never forget about maintaining your health - go to pelvic exams and make diagnostics regularly.

You know better than anyone else how to raise your child

Maybe your child won’t read at the age of three, throws tantrums in the malls or isn’t potty trained although it’s time. Maybe you still breastfeed or haven’t done it at all. Regardless of your motherhood reality, you are a good mother because you do your best and know what is better for your family. And you know it better than anyone because it’s your family not of those that shame you or try to teach you how to do things right.

You are a good mother

The pressure of society over mothers is so intolerable that it’s easy to lose your confidence as a mother and start doubting in yourself. Mom guilt is something familiar to every mom. Even those who shame others, do it to escape from the anxiety that they aren’t good enough. But you shouldn’t. If these thoughts come to your mind, this already means that you try hard. For your child, you’ll always be the best, whose opinion can be compared to this? 

Never give up on encouraging yourself and other moms you communicate with. You are all doing a great job - don't be afraid to admit it and preach it!